As I sit here in my apartment, looking at the article that just came across my timeline on Twitter, I think about all that’s happened these past six months, and wonder just how to make sense of it all. It seems that not a day goes by without a new allegation about some sort of sexual harassment or employment practices liability issue making the headlines.
I think about the #MeToo hashtag and just like so many women, I have had my share of difficult times in the workplace, but I’ve also had my experiences with so many great men and women who have truly worked in a manner to support and encourage me during different stages of my career.
I also know that sometimes there are relationships gone bad, and just because you’ve had a relationship with someone, and maybe it did not go the way you wanted it to, that’s no excuse to sue your employer for allegations of sexual harassment. On the flipside, someone who has had a relationship with someone, might be the brunt of horrible treatment, simply because the relationship did not work out, and that’s a totally different story.
It’s not just men, though, who mistreat their employees. There are women out there who are just as capable of engaging in power struggles, and misuse their power in ways that one can only imagine. It’s a shame, too, because women can be accused of being catty and in my experiences it’s rare to find a woman, who is genuinely happy to see another woman achieve great success.
“Ashley Judd, the actress and humanitarian, urged attendees of Business Insurance’s Wome to Watch …. to discuss and find solutions to sexual harassment and gender violence.”Gloria Gonzalez, Business Insurance 12/15/2017
How does one recognize the signs of one of those women who are out to discredit and allow jealousy to enter into their world? It’s not always easy to know right from the start and sometimes we get fooled into thinking someone is our friend or wants to be supportive, until we actually begin to shine, and they do all they can to dim your light.
Sometimes it’s important to simply walk away with your held held high, knowing that you might not be clear on where you’re going but remaining where you’re at, would cause you dismay.
Some people misuse power, many of those people are men, but many of those people are women who simply cannot stand to see another woman shine. To my fellow collegauges, who might have been among those women to watch, remember to be watchful of your own behavior, and when we talk about gender violence, keep in mind that sometimes it’s the women who are most cruel to their fellow females, It’s not just men who are the enemy, and we need to always remember that ultimately, professionalism and kindness rules.
Of the forty three Las Vegas law firms I researched, twenty five of them are on Twitter, some are on Facebook, and most are on Linked In. Many have their social media buttons in the top right corner of their website which is a good place, because quite often when folks visit a website, they do not necessarily scroll down to the bottom, so it’s good to have those buttons up top, and in plain view!
So those twenty-five who made the list will now be followed by @FirstAndVerdict and I’ll start sharing more about their firms, articles from their blogs, etc., You should follow @FirstAndVerdict on Twitter, because it’s important to know about legal issues, and because if you do, you’ll see whose on the list!
Quotes can be so inspirational but often what’s attributed to one person might not really be so, because who’s to say who said what? – Judythe Ann Michelle
The other day, I happened to be in a salon and on the wall was a quote that was one of my favorites from Coco Chanel, on the salon had attributed the quote to someone other than she, and I thought it odd, but also amusing. After all, I mean how do we really know, who said what? One thing seems to be certain though, that many of the quotes that we often use for inspiration can remind us about what’s so important and what to discard. Quotes can get us through the toughtest of times including breakups, loss of loved ones, and even those crazy days when everything seems to be going wrong.
If, by chance, you happen to be having one of those days, here are some of my favorite quotes to get you through the day, and hopefully remind you of what’s most important:
“Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, Certainly I can!” Then get busy and find out how you can do it.” – Theodore Roosevelt
“Genius begins great works; labor alone finishes them.” – Joseph Joubert
“Lack of direction, not lack of time, is the problem . . . ” Zig Ziglar
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” -Gautama Buddha
“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” – Confucius
“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” – Buddha
“Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you.” – Thomas Jefferson
“You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.” – Abraham Lincoln
“Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!-Dr Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas
This morning I re-read an email I had received from a woman I met in training while we both learned about how to become volunteers at the domestic violence shelter in the town where I live here in Southern Nevada. She’s one of the nicest women I’ve ever met, and her career involves conflict management. The email shared a story about a woman who is traveling the world to help combat what she describes as the ‘rape culture’ in college. The woman who shared the email with me knew that I had taken to the airwaves and gone ‘undercover’ if you will to help educate about mutual respect for both genders and my desire to reach the male population to help them learn about the reality of the crime, and advocate not only for women but for men, as well.
As I sit writing, missing so much of what was, I am reminded by my own inner voice to be grateful of what is. There are times when we go in certain directions only to find ourselves somewhere that’s quite different than where we had intended to travel. It’s not always easy to accept that things did not necessarily work out as planned but when we take a moment to think and we realize that we are not always the ones in control.
Recently, I took on a role that’s quite different than what I had envisioned and I am currently pondering what’s next. Perhaps you’ve also been examing where you’re at in your career and/or personal life and wondered just what happened to your plan. As Thanksgiving draws near and a new year is almost upon us, I find myself questioning and re-working my plan knowing full well that perhaps God (or the universe) has placed us exactly where we He needs us to be. Most of all, I want to be mindful to be thankful for all that was, and all that is, and open to what will be. No things are not as I planned, but rather than dwell, I’m making choices that will allow me to make changes so that I continue to grow.
The young lady, I mentioned earlier, who is out there educating about college ‘rape’ culture travels the country to help others to understand the value of mutual respect. This morning, I connected her with the host of the sports talk radio program I’m connected with. Who knows, maybe you’ll hear her on the radio.
Remember that story, The Five People You Meet in Heaven?
Ugh, I hate this movie! Almost as much as I hate that movie, The Ugly Truth. As much as we fail to read the writing on the wall, there it is, plain as day! Staring back at us, with sharp edges. What does it say, “He’s just not that into you.” So what’s a girl to do? First of all, it’s probably a good idea to not put yourself in the position in the first place. If he’s married to someone else, and has chosen not to sever the relationship, for whatever reason, accept that he’s just not that into you and walk away. You deserve to be valued, you deserve to be respected, and if he’s just not that into you, it’s okay. There’s somebody out there who will be, and it’s better to be ready for when he shows up, than to sit around and stay stuck and hoping. #notetoself
I was definitely feeling homesick last week and being home sick, literally surely didn’t help matters. I miss Madison Square Garden, and I miss ‘the city’ and I miss waking up and being able to walk to the beach!!! I also miss teaching, and seeing the kids in school, only I came out to Vegas for a reason, and even though things have not yet worked out to exactly as planned, it’s not as though things are all bad!!! In fact, most of the time I’m super happy I decided to move out here, despite missing my home. So for what it’s worth, thank you to all of those who took the time to text, call and comment on my Facebook page, and remind me that just because my friends are far away physically, doesn’t mean that they are far away. Also, what’s so wrong with selling insurance for now, maybe forever, if it’s something I believe in? Maybe I ought to turn my mindset around and start looking at the glass half full, right?
It’s not that I do not understand the label that’s attached to salespeople who ‘whore’ themselves out there and just do things to make a quick buck. That’s never been me, and it never will be me. I’m so much more than that, and if someone accuses me of doing somthing just to make commission, why should I take it to heart, when I know it’s not true? Besides, it’s not as though I don’t have my business, and my dreams of making MondayNightFantasy.com into something special someday, just things take time, right? Right!
So let’s count the positives that have happened since I left my home back East:
- I have a really nice apartment and the rent is about $600. a month cheaper
- Of course, it’s not a block away from the beach, but ……..
- I have a really nice group of friends and I would not trade them for anything
- I have met some awesome folks who invited me to handicap and be on their radio program every Friday morning to pre-record, and it’s so much fun!
- I wake up and see the mountains and an amazing view of The Strip
- The weather is amazing most months of the year
- I managed to land a pretty cool job which will allow me flexibility to keep my business going, and also allow me to purchase health insurance for way less than what I was paying
- I have spent most of the past year with someone who’s been incredibly nice and there for me during some of the roughest times, when I’ve been super homesick
- I have my health and I still have a heart, a brain and I’m working on that courage!!!
I still get mad at things I probably should not get mad at, and I wish I could just click my heels like Dorothy did or did not do, and end up in my bedroom back home. Only home is where your heart is, and as much as I miss back East, and what I used to do, what I’m doing isn’t all that bad. I wish I was able to teach out here, but for whatever reason …. I suppose it’s time to focus on what I can do, rather than what I can’t do and decide to be happy! Thank you to everyone who reminded me to put my ‘big girl pants on’ and stop being sad. Set backs happen, and having the rug pulled out from me AGAIN on the Monday Night Fantasy contest didn’t help my mindset, but in the big picture, I guess it doesn’t really matter. Somethings are just not meant to be. Onward!
There are days where I swear this is not my life. What happened to the days when I would wake up, drive my son to school, and then find my way to the courthouse? Or better yet, what happened to my apartment in New York City, and my son’s crib? Where have the years gone? Nothing has turned out the way it was supposed to, and for the life of me, I don’t remember what happened to the book I was supposed to be writing, or that prince who was supposed to show up, and propose we get married at the speedway. Did I really let go of my apartment by the beach? Say it isn’t so!
And now, as if things weren’t bad enough, I am pretty sure I signed on to sell insurance! I used to have an office, a view of the city, and clients!!! Can somebody help me understand what’s happened? Better yet, do you have any leads, because I need to make rent, and I sell insurance! Ugh, I swear in my mind, there seems to be nothing worse than this, so how on earth do I change my mindset and decide that this is what I’m supposed to be doing???
I didn’t move to Vegas to sell insurance! So what are the odds that I will be successful at this new venture? Is God playing a joke on me and putting me right back where I started? What sets me apart from all those other folks out there who sell insurance? Why would someone want to give me an opportunity to quote on their coverages? Someone once told me there’s an “insurance whore” standing on every corner, and that’s such a horrible thought to behold. Working for commission, couldn’t I have found some other way to make it in Vegas?
Stay tuned . . . it can’t get much worse! 😉