This week has been completed F*cked up and many might suggest that I brought it all on myself and I did . . . well, sort of! No, I did and at the present moment I’m wondering just how I became involved when I was so determined to not be involved, but something tells me I’m not the only one, and it’s not as though there’s any conscious motivation, at least not that I can figure out . . . Maybe I’m helping prepare a place to die, and if that’s the case it totally sucks, because the last thing I want is for my niece to die.  However, that is quite probable given the set of circumstances and some might say that this is her choice, and others might say that government officials should do something . . . surely there is someone to blame for the ridiculousness of the Heroin epidemic, right?

I’m no so sure.  Why did I choose not to do Heroin?  What makes it different now from when I was younger other than its more affordable and in one’s face at a party?  Okay so its more affordable and in your face at a party, but why would you choose to engage is something that will likely kill you or make your life completely derailed?  Oh, well if you ask someone who decided to engage in it, they will likely say, “If you’ve never tried it, you’ll never understand.” Okay, well that’s fine.  I don’t need to understand what’s so wonderful about a drug that makes you want to throw your life and life’s earnings away, not to mention other people’s life earnings away as though you are entitled to completely F*CK everyone’s life up.  I’m totally happy being on the outside and having no clue what makes this drug so tempting and so utterly impossible to resist ’cause I’d much prefer to be on the side where it’s a drug that you should stay the F*CK away from cause it will likely kill you.  Go figure!

Why would anyone choose to engage in this drug?  I have an idea as to why because I’ve read the stories and heard the answers and I’m still going to admit to being completely confused as to why one would not get off on something so amazing as riding, or something so amazing as …… I sound like one of those parents, right?  People might suggest that if I were eighteen I would not dare suggest that getting high isn’t the ‘be and end all.’ Only the reality is, that when I was eighteen I was just as enlightened about not wanting to engage in anything that would likely kill me or screw up my life.  So, I don’t get it and if that makes me part of the, “She’ll never understand why we chose to do H Club’ … I’m good.

Somebody do something!!! Like what?  I know we could try to educate people about how dangerous the drug is …. Oh but wait, don’t we already do that?  How about if we throw the book at those who choose to do the drug?  Oh wait, ’cause then we’ll have the President of the United States pardon those folks after us good citizens paid lots of tax dollars toward the criminal justice system which is so broken, which by the way is sort of messed up at times.

The one thing about the CJ system that is complete lunacy is that you can take a plea, and swear that you are telling the truth, and everyone knows you are lying but the plea is something that gives you a certain punishment as opposed to risking the uncertainty of a trial ….. Why not just take a plea and say, “Listen, Your Honor, I’m telling you I didn’t do it but I don’t want to risk having a jury think I did, so dish out some sort of penalty that the DA can live with, and let’s call it a day.”

Getting back to my niece, and her drug of choice, I’m still in shock that I didn’t have the balls to tell her that I thought I can’t help her . . . but then again, I’m a girl and I don’t have balls.  That’s a whole other topic!  Right now, I’m just praying to the God that many do not believe in because when all else fails, He’s my favorite follow!

Dear God, Are you there?  It’s me, Michelle.  I could use your help here.