Thoughts on Gareon Conley, the newest member of the usual suspects

Last night many watched the NFL Draft and witnessed the Oakland Raiders select a former Ohio State football player to its team.  This happened toward the end of the first round, so that would make Gareon Conley a first round draft pick, and quite possibly on his way to a rewarding career in the National Football League.

I was watching the draft, amongst ‘the boys at the bar’ and tweeting congratulatory tweets to the players throughout the night.  When Gareon Conley was selected most of those ‘boys’ spoke out about how the Raiders were taking a chance on Conley, not because of their thoughts that he might not be a great football player, but because he was recently accused of rape.  I thought to myself, “Good for the Raiders, taking a chance on a young man who might be innocent, and thankfully there are still some out there who do not convict a man simply because someone makes an accusation.”

It’s not ‘victim blaming’ when people choose to reserve judgment of a man as to whether he is innocent or guilty of a crime until they hear the facts surrounding an alleged crime.  Just because someone plays football, and happens to be accused of rape does not mean he is guilty.  It’s a person’s prerogative to reserve judgment and in the United States, it is what our founding fathers aimed to achieve.   Or at least that’s how it is written, and what we’ve been told.

Years ago I can recall watching the movie, Twelve Angry Men, and wishing that everyone had the strength to allow for the totality of circumstance to unfold before casting judgment based on surface evidence.  Years later, I find myself astounding how many will cry it’s blaming a victim when some women and men wait it out to see what might have actually happened before painting someone a rapist.  It’s not.  It’s respecting the process and being mindful that a man (or woman) should not be labeled guilty without due process, and even then sometimes there might still be room for doubt. Our criminal justice system is flawed.  It’s

Our criminal justice system is flawed.  It’s inherently flawed for so many reasons and one of them is that it is made up of humans.  That’s not to say that non-humans would do any better, but it’s just an imperfect system.  Our education system is also flawed.  We do not always teach responsibility for one’s own actions, or how to practice mindful behavior, and seem to focus on a quick fix.  Our media can be looking for clicks and sales, rather than truth.

For many women who have been the victim of sexual assault, it’s difficult for them to see beyond their own experiences and realize that not all men are guilty when these accusations of rape surface.  For some, a bite mark on a male made by a female is a sign that there was something other than sexual relations going on.  There are also those who believe that just because a woman drank too much and went into a hotel room with a guy, she deserves whatever happens.  Neither is true.  However, it is important to note that bite marks can be defensive, as well as, women should be held just as accountable as men when it comes to being capable of exercising prudent judgment.  No?

 

 

What did Aaron Hernandez and former NYPD Officer, Justin Volpe, have in common?

On April 21, 2017, Newsweek published an article written by Michele McPhee that probed into the issues of Aaron Hernandez’s sex life, as a possible murder motive.  In the article, McPhee discusses what she refers to as “just one of the many mysteries” surrounding the former “star New England Patriots tight end.”

Many have expressed discontent with McPhee for delving too deep into the personal life of Hernandez and some have taken to social media and accused her of “fake journalism.”  Is it fake journalism, or is it that some cannot handle the truth?

When a person commits suicide, after being found not-guilty of a double murder, of course, there are bound to be theories as to the motive.  McPhee’s discussion about Hernandez supposed bisexuality being a possible motive for his killing of Odin Lloyd ( a killing he was serving a life sentence for, without the possibility of parole ) hit the airwaves in Boston before Hernandez took his own life.  Was being outed a reason he might take his own life? Who can say?

Now back to sports …. ( Here’s Michele McPhee’s article http://www.newsweek.com/aaron-hernandez-hidden-sexuality-murder-police-587879

 

 

Maybe I don’t look so old, after all

It’s a bit past 6 pm, and I’m sitting at the long bar here @SteinersPubLV which for those of you who have yet to be seduced by Twitter, means Steiner’s Pub (Las Vegas).  I’m here to promote the pub, and of course, watch the National Championship game, which sort of goes ‘hand-in-hand’ because I usually head to Steiner’s Pub when I want to catch the game, and I’m also usually doing “live” tweets, so it’s the perfect fit and no doubt that this is where I’d ride out the rest of the madness in March.

The reason I’m taking a moment to share on my blog has to do with an article I had written about age.  You see a few weeks ago I shared about how this guy who had asked me out told me that he thought I was older than him when he met me, and I talked a bit about just what it is that makes women feel as though they need to ‘look younger’ than they are once they reach a certain age.

Tonight, as I was walking into the pub, this young child yelled out to me, “You can’t go in there because you have to be twenty-one.”  He was standing with an older man, and I could tell they were waiting for someone who had gone inside.  I stopped and asked him, “Well, wait, do you think I’m less than twenty-one?” And he said, “Yes, you’re not twenty-one and you can’t go inside.”  Now you see, I’ve always known that Steiner’s Pub gave me so many reasons to smile.  The food, the atmosphere, the staff are all among the wonderful things that I’ve come to expect here at Steiner’s but tonight, I had one more reason to smile!  I assured the young boy that I was above the age of 21 and thanked him for sharing the information he shared.

The young boy’s grandfather smiled and we both assured the young boy that he would be able to come to Steiner’s soon enough, and not to worry because all good things are worth waiting for.

To learn more about Steiner’s Pub, you can follow on Twitter @SteinersPubLV or visit their website at www.SteinersPub.com ( Steiner’s only serves patrons that are 21 and over to comply with Nevada’s second hand smoke laws. ) 

Would you mind if I #standby @United

So I’m reading my ‘Monday Brief’ which is sent to me by the NY Times and I notice an article about how United Airlines refused to allow passengers to board because they were wearing leggings and these young girls were forced to wear dresses!!! Oh Boy, I could just see the spin starting.  In a gender neutral world, the big bad airline was forcing young ladies to wear dresses???? Say it ain’t so! Of course, it’s not so.  It’s just how the media managed to spin the story.  Now back to sports!!!

 

Let’s talk about age . . .

What is it about a person’s age that makes people cringe when it’s a topic that’s brought up?  Then again, it’s probably only those who are “older” who cringe and at which point do we begin to feel as though our age is an issue?  Ugh!!!!

Recently I began dating someone and although I cannot remember the exact point that age was brought up there was this sort of respectful silence when it came to the topic.  I was not sure how old he was, but I thought maybe he was in his early forties.  In fact, I remember when I first met him, after he brought up having grandchildren that he looked “too young” to have grandchildren but then again, maybe he had married someone with children or his children had children young, or maybe he just looked really good for his age, whatever age he was.  It was not as though I cared about that because honestly I felt a connection to him and it seemed as though we were on the same page when it came to the really important things, and age was and is just a number, right?

Only, age does matter to some.  It matters a lot when it comes to marketing demographics and companies continue to target certain criteria in a traditional manner, often ignoring that 50 might actually be the new 30, because people are living healthier lifestyles and aging differently than they did in the past.  One person who is 30 might be another person 60; just ask Christie Brinkley.

So last night this guy that I’m dating brought up age again, and he seemed to want to know how old I was, and he might have asked me outright but seemed to tread lightly because he was afraid that he might be offending me by asking the question. I thought it was amusing how he seemed to dance around the topic, trying hard not to offend me all the while I just kept thinking about how it just plain sucks that women are stereotyped to be less desirous when they age, and men historically men have been thought to get better in time.  I mean I can still remember my father saying, you could tell how old a woman is by looking at . . .

I do not lie about my age.  I do not mind if someone says I look my age, although most people say that they thought I was younger than I am when they find out my age, but who knows if they are simply being kind.  That’s the whole point that it’s kind to think someone looks younger than they are, and this simply is what it is.  It keeps companies that offer Botox in business and raking in millions.

So the man I am dating is in his late forties but he says he knew when he met me I was older than him.  Should I take that as an insult?  You tell me.

Is closure in relationships necessary? We talk about it during @ThatDatingShow (3/2/2017 via VOC )

closure – 1) the act or process of closing something, especially an institution, thoroughfare, or frontier, or of being closed OR  2) a sense of resolution or conclusion at the end of an arti…

Source: Is closure in relationships necessary? We talk about it during @ThatDatingShow (3/2/2017 via VOC )

Is closure in relationships necessary? We talk about it during @ThatDatingShow (3/2/2017 via VOC )

closure – 1) the act or process of closing something, especially an institution, thoroughfare, or frontier, or of being closed OR  2) a sense of resolution or conclusion at the end of an artistic work

Have you ever been in a relationship and heard someone say, “I can’t go on like this and yet I need closure.” Or have you been involved with someone who is holding on to a ghost and still has yet to put the past in its proper place?  In those situations, it’s likely that there’s yet to be closure, and it’s doubtful any new relationship will have a solid foundation if there is someone holding on to their former partner, right?

If you’d like to,  you can tune in to ‘That Dating Show’ which was prerecorded this morning and will air via VocNation.com this Thursday night at 10 pm EST.  During the show, Pamela Michelle aka @SportyDiva and myself discuss relationships, dating advice, and in this episode we focus on closure, and it’s relevance in being able to move forward.

 

Vegas, so far …oh and David Cassidy, the media, and alternative facts

I thought I would miss the beach much more than I do, but the mountains provide such a scenic view each time I step outside of my home that I find myself stopping and staring at the amazing beauty that surrounds.  There’s a certain sense of calm in the desert and so far my experiences in Vegas and its surrounding areas have been nothing short of magnificent.  In fact, that’s probably why I have not written here for quite awhile, because I’m busy getting to know new people and new places, and I am enjoying the exploration.

My new place is rather peaceful and it’s coming along.  I found a great table at Good Will, and it was less than $20 so I’m super psyched about that.  My plan is to one day sand and re-finish it but that will come in time.  I absolutely love shopping at consignment shops and although Good Will is not a consignment it’s sort of similar only it puts people to work, and I love that about it.  Ever since going through a devastating storm, where I wore clothes that had been donated, and wrapped myself in blankets that were also donated, I have come to appreciate the simple acts of kindness in a way I never knew.  I know not everyone thinks about the people who benefit from their donations and it’s likely that some just need to get a tax-donation or rid of something but to me Good Will, is so much more than that and regardless of the reason people give their things, it’s a very cool experience to shop there.

So far, I’ve been to some concerts and actually plan to make it a habit to catch one a month.  Always regretted not taking advantage of Manhattan in that way, as I’m not sure if I ever saw anything on Broadway the entire time I lived there.  That’s pretty lame.  One of the concerts I saw recently was David Cassidy.  I thought he was amazing and as I watched the slide show of the still photographs which featured scenes from his earlier years, I thought about how much my sister loved him when she was growing up.  I guess everyone loved him back in the day.  I was amazed at his ability to remember things and share so much with his audience.  He exuded gratitude and I was in awe at the talent on stage.  It saddened me to see that TMZ ran a story that he fell off the wagon and was slurring his words on stage.  A few days later I happened upon an issue of People magazine which has a cover story about an exclusive interview with David Cassidy and his battle with dementia.  This lead me to think about the media, and the horrific way it will report on something without checking the facts, just to sell a magazine or get you to click on a link.  I’m not saying that TMZ article was reporting inaccurately but it would not surprise me and it just seemed so sad and somewhat exploitive.  Then I thought about Trump, and his use of the term ‘enemy’ when describing the media.

It seems like forever that I have been trying to get the media to be more accurate and I do not blame President Trump for wanting to correct the misleading media.  Sadly, it seems to have become an “us against them” stance and that’s never good because it seems so counter-productive.  I remember when one of the New York papers called the NFL commish a liar accusing him of having seen the video of Ray Rice hitting his then girlfriend and I do not think there was one ounce of proof that he had lied, but the headlines would have had you believe he was no different than Pinnochio.  We have justice systems that are supposed to be based on innocence until proven guilty and one would think that the media would be apt to be similar but just as our justice systems are flawed so too is the media.  Of course, the media is only human after all.